RIP Smiley

I looked at the date the other day and realized that on the fourth my best friend Smiley has been gone for 4 years. Time goes by so fast. I miss him so much. He was more than a friend to me. He was like my little brother. He was my protector, my confidant and a source of strength. So many days I have wished I could go back to the moments before it happened and make time stand still forever. So many days I have wished I could say I'm sorry. So many days I've wished that last I love you was stressed even more. There is just so many things that I wish I could change but I can't. I lived with guilt so long even though I knew it wasn't my fault. I thought that I couldn't live without him, now I feel like I'm living for both of us. Certain days I feel like he's right here with me. People may call me crazy but I really do feel him with me.
So Smiley, I love you, I miss you and I'm glad my life was blessed with you. I wish you were here but I know I will see you again one day. I'm holding it down for the both of us and I see ya in my rearview!!!!!!